I’ve done these resolutions every year for the last several
years. I try my hardest not to make them
sound redundant and to put thought into them.
I also want them to be real.
Sometimes that means having the same feelings year after year. It’s a double edge sword. Luckily, no one reading remembers last year
(including me) and if they sound the same, no one knows. So no blog judging is going on here. I’m a mom of 3. It’s a sheer miracle that there even is a
blog to begin with. It’s writing has
become increasingly less frequent(que resolutions) but I usually love this one
and try to make it a priority. So, on
with the show.
1 What was
the single best thing that happened this year?
I won’t for a second try to disguise the
best thing that happened to us this year.
It’s a clear standout in everyone’s mind but especially mine. I dreamed all my LIFE of having a sweet baby
girl. It’s been everything I dreamed and
more. I told my sister just the other day, it really is like having my very own
live baby doll. We play dress up, girly
things, and snuggle and giggle all the time.
Is it weird that my best friend is a 10 month old?
2 What is
the single most challenging thing that happened?
It seems the answer would be clear. The balancing act. Learning to navigate the waters of raising 2
elementary school boys while juggling a baby’s ever changing schedule. Jason is continually rising in this job (a
good thing!) and it requires more of his time combine with his daunting commute
every day leaves much of the duties on my shoulders until the 7pm hour. We tried not to take away from the boys activities because they had a sister. I didn’t want them to resent her. Luckily for us she was the 3rd
baby and like most 3rd children, she’s the easiest most docile child to deal
with. Dinner at the ball field? No problem.
Nap in the ergo while cooking dinner, sure thing mom!
3 What was
an unexpected joy this past year?
Our minivan? It seems very superficial to say my new car
was a joy but it was certainly an unexpected blessing to me. I was anti mini-van. Jason wanted a minivan. I wasn’t ready to give up the SUV mom
status. I usually don’t care much about
cars and what I drive. Honestly, I would
probably still be driving my 200,000+ Mountaineer if we hadn’t decided on a new
car. I was perfectly happy with it. But Jason knew it wasn’t safe for us to drive
a car that old with 3 kids around in America’s 3rd largest
city. I caved on the minivan argument
knowing from all my friends’ statements that I would love it also. The results are in and I totally do. Now, it still doesn’t make me feel “cool”
that we drive a minivan as our “nice” car.
But we’ve made not one or two but THREE LONG LONG trips in the minivan
now. And there’s no doubt in my mind
that it makes ALL the difference.
There’s the leg room. There are
three FULL rows. There are the TV and
Bluetooth headphones for the boys that allow Jason and I to listen to whatever
we want. It allows me to sit in the middle seats with
Lillian and hold hands which she LOVES.
Suffice to say the minivan was an unexpected joy for our family this
year.
4 What was
an unexpected obstacle?
In September, my dad had a
mini-stroke. That is the one thing that
continually comes to mind when I think of unexpected. Everything is ok now, not 100% but better. It was 7:32am, I get a group text (mom, Tracie)
with mom saying call me, call me, call me.
I got her a few minutes later and she’s
panicked saying, “the Brick-Hatton fire department picked Ron up at his
Dads. He was unconscious” That was about
all she knew at the time. When I got in
touch with my sister, we were pretty much useless. Neither of us knew anything other than what
mom said and there was NOTHING we could do living in Texas and South
Alabama. It gets a little blurry as to
what I did in the minutes following. I
knew not to freak the boys out too badly but I had to tell them something. I walked over to the table and told them the
5 year old version of what I knew.
Pawpaw was hurt and he needed our prayers. We said a prayer at the kitchen table and I
sent them on their way. I went back
inside and hit my knees in the living room.
It’s easy now to put it into perspective and see that it wasn’t THAT big
of a deal but then it most certainly was.
I talked to my sister, my aunt and mom over the next few blurry hours
and then after lunch, I finally talked to dad.
Since he retired, he’s been a big influence in our lives. He’s the one with the most time to travel to
see us. He comes once every month or so
to visit. He is also the one I talk to
on the phone the most. He doesn’t work,
and I stay home so we have a little more time on our hands. His health is still a concern to us. Here’s hoping 2015 brings about healthy
changes in his life so the kids can ring in 2020 and 2030 with him as
well!
5 Pick
three words to describe the past year.
Complete.
Domestic. Joyful
I always knew I wanted a girl and after
Lincoln, I knew I’d want a third child.
Jason took a little more convincing but we BOTH knew we only wanted
three. That was our golden number. When Lillian was born we both had an
overwhelming feeling that our family was complete! It’s a great feeling to have No doubt. Defoor party of FIVE is complete!
Domestic.
I’m not sure this is the right word here. We are settled but I used that world last
year. We are comfortable in our town, in
our house, in his job. We have steady
friends, a church home and we can get around without using the GPS to return
home most days. Jason has a normal 8ish
to 5(more like 7)ish job and We have a pretty weekly routine. There are no HUGE changes that we know of
coming up in the near future. That is
what most people can say about past years but not us. We are anything but normal in our career
choices and family life. We have lived
life on the edge of change over the last few years. SO much so that it sometimes seems that there
should be change lingering but as far as we know there’s not. It’s a nice feeling to think we are where we
will be for a while but the truth is I keep expecting change in the back of my
mind. I guess it’s not a bad think. It
proves I’m open to change even if it’s BIG change like accepting an overseas
position. It’s not highly likely at this
time but maybe sometime.
Joyful.
Becoming a mother makes your heart forever go walking around outside
your own body. Doing it 3 times over
just multiplies that feeling. Having a
girl really knocked that point home for me. I AM a girl so I feel like I “get”
her more than the boys. I understand her
feelings and girly tendencies more than I did with them. It was no secret that I always wanted a girl
but it wasn’t just for the fancy clothes (though that was pretty huge!). There’s an old saying and while it’s not the
stone cold truth, there’s some weight to it.
“A son is a son until he takes a wife…a daughter’s a daughter all of her
life…”
So there you have it. I know we’ll have some troublesome years but
ONE DAY, I hope to be to her what my mother is to me!
6 Pick
three words to describe your spouse’s year.
Trying.
Rewarding. Change.
I might have mentioned before that Jason’s
life is quite a bit more stressful that I’d consider my life. He commutes downtown on the daily while I
live in what is commonly referred to as the bubble. Everything I do and need is within 5 miles of
me. He fights rush hour traffic both
coming and going. His job isn’t an easy
breezy slow pace work environment. He’s
doing exactly what he wanted but it’s fast paced, ultra demanding and it
MATTERS. He’s being watched, judged and
rated on his every move. I can’t imagine
working under the kind of microscope his job requires. I think trying would accurately describe his work.
Rewarding.
While working under the said microscope, we do feel like he is
succeeding. He’s doing the job he set
out to get in grad school and he’s excelling in it. The things he analyzes make actual changes
for the largest company in the world so those types of projects while
challenging can prove very rewarding. We
worked hard to get where we are in this life and seeing it come to fruition is
rewarding and that’s a good feeling!
Change.
We expanded our family by one. We
also added a GIRL to the mix when all we had known was boys. Waited just long enough to make it like
starting all over again with a newborn.
Jason’s parents also moved 4 hours from us
making it easier to see them more often.
Late this year, Jason changed positions inside his company. It was a new job and title but I didn’t
really understand the change much other than a new boss and different
projects. January will bring about
another new change as he FINALLY quits the commute and starts working in the
Woodlands not far from where we live. We
will get around 2 hours a day back with him.
It’s been a LONG time coming!
What were the best books you read this year?
While I
thought Lillian would allow for more reading, I was wrong. I haven’t even kept up with the same TV shows
I thought I might. I did listen to a few
books this year. I read the first
Divergent book and then saw the movie.
In bible study we re-read “The Same Kind of
Different As Me” and I loved it all over again.
I really enjoyed discussing it with my favorite girls too. That book will really make you think about
our judgmental nature and treating people equally.
Jason and I just finished listening to the
podcast SERIAL. It’s compelling and
interesting but we were both left wanting more.
It was a great way to pass 15 hours in the car on the way to Nashville
for New Years!
Some of my girls and I read “The Perfect
Game”. It was a steamy love story and I enjoyed it while on the treadmill this
spring!
8 With whom
were your most valuable relationships?
This one still pulls at my heart. I may have left Nashville but it sure hasn’t
left me. Over 18 months later, I still
consider some of my best friendships to reside in Nashville, TN. I still get group text daily from them and
feel as much a part of them as I always have.
They will always be important to me!
My bible study girls also played a
big part in my life this year. I knew
the FIRST day I walked into bible study that this was MY place, these were MY
girls but I continue to feel that way more all the time.
Emily is my neighbor. She’s definitely the closest friend I have in
Texas. She also happens to have a
husband that works for Exxon, 2 school aged children and a baby at home just 5
weeks older than Lillian. It would be convenient
for us to be friends with so much in common but she’s also a GREAT friend, a
good sounding board and gives great advice.
She keeps a level head and always listens. Not many friends can compare to Mari (my NC
friend in CA) to me but Emily comes close!
9 What was
your biggest personal change from January to December?
Mother of 3 was a pretty big change. It took a little getting used to. The kids outnumbered Jason and I. I had one playing baseball, one doing
homework and one nursing. Oh, and we
still had to eat. And there was laundry. I think we have the hang of it now but it
still takes a village!
In what ways did you grow physically?
Did you hear about Lillian’s birth? Well, it did NOT happen how I planned. It wasn’t’ that it was bad. It was just fast. I did NOT get the epidural I planned on for 9
months. I didn’t think the whole natural
birth thing was even possible for me. I completely
dismissed the idea. If I had a choice,
the epidural WAS my birth plan but there wasn’t time for an IV much less an
epidural. I’m proud of the fact now that
it wasn’t’ needed but I’m more glad that it was just FAST! I'm tougher than I ever gave myself credit for!
What was
the most enjoyable part of your work?
Experiencing all the baby “firsts” for the
last time was certainly the highlight of my year. It’s easier to relish your last baby. You want to remember every single
detail. You can simply enjoy it and know
it won’t last forever. I let Lillian
sleep in our room and wake up at night until her 6th month because I
knew it wouldn’t last and there’d ever be another bassinet in my room. While I celebrate every millstone for her, I
know it will be the last one I experience as a mother.
What was
the most challenging part of your work?
Is it sad to say 3rd grade was
the hardest part of my job? It’s not
just the work but the attitude it provokes and the “growing pains” that come
along with a pre-adolescent. Homework is
becoming harder and more common. This
comes as a challenge to the one that is used to everything coming easily and
without dedication. Here is where being
like Jason comes at a price. Naturally
smart makes it increasingly hard to study new material. We’ve had some grade drops to overcome and a
poor attitude to accompany that. Much
of this I believe can be attributed to the lack of individual attention. I know every family has it but the ages of
our kids make some require more attention than others for different
reasons. Jackson is self-sufficient in
most ways and requires the least care but still needs the individual attention that
sometimes gets overlooked. Dividing
equal time between children is the most challenging part of my job at the
present time.
What was the single biggest time waster in
your life this year?
Well…I’ve fallen into this rabbit hole of girls’ clothing. Boutique shoes, smocked bubbles and bows…oh, my! It’s BAD. In a good way. But calling it a rabbit hole is probably the polite way to put it. I think I’ll just stop there before I incriminate myself!
What was the best
way you used your time this past year?
We managed to have
a lot of FUN! We made lots of family
memories. And I spent LOTS and Lots of
time snuggling a baby. I had no qualms
about sitting around all day holding her and she didn’t seem to have a problem
with it as well. I didn’t even mind
getting up at night with her because I knew it wouldn’t last forever. She is already growing up too fast for me and
I miss it already.
What was the
biggest thing you learned this past year?
I
finally “get” the savoring every moment; they grow up too fast thing. Before now, I knew it went fast but I always
thought, you don’t know how tired I am or how much energy they have. Now I get it.
It goes by fast. Way. Too.
Fast. And enjoying the children is
important. In the good and the bad. They aren’t going to be little forever and I
must savor every stage of them. They
will never be little again.
Create a phrase
the describes the past year for you.
You complete me(us)!
Our family became full.
Complete. With the addition of
Lillian, our family was complete. I knew I wanted a third child. I REALLY wanted a girl. I knew we weren’t complete as a family. Jason
took a little convincing but the minute she was born we both knew it. This was OUR family. We were finished. I love our little party of 5. I never knew growing up that I’d want 3
children but after 2 I never had that complete feeling. It’s good to KNOW and I know that Lillian
completes us!
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