The White Elephant in the Room

Jason recently gave me the definition of “white elephant.” as something that is not what it seems.  He also explained the phrase “the elephant in the room” as an issue no one wants to address.  I truly feel this covers both bases.

On a recently family outing, I took Jason to Bargain Hunt.  If you’ve never been, it’s a store similar to Big Lots.  It has everything you never knew you needed and a couple of things you might actually need.  All of which you could live the rest of your life without.  The pricing in the store is based on the date on the price tag.  Items tagged in July would be  around 75% off now.  Jason and the boys went to look at toys and sporting goods while I looked at shoes and specific baby gear for Tracie.  An hour had passed and I found them again.  Jason came around the corner with a smile on his face and a large object in his buggy.  When I looked down questioningly, he started in.  “I called my mom and she said it was a good deal!” he said before I could even ask.  “What is it?” I inquired.  It’s a pressure cooker he tells me.  An electric one.  For canning.  Um, what exactly am I going to be doing with a pressure cooker?  He convincingly tells me we can can tomatoes (ok, maybe) or green beans.  I argue that we don’t grow green beans and even if we did, I wasn’t interested in picking them, washing them, snapping them and then para boiling them before going to all the trouble to CAN them.  I’m pretty sure, I’ll just buy them at Sams club.  I could already tell this was a battle I had lost.  He found something that he was certain was a great deal and it was coming home with us.  I had to just accept it. I may or may not have texted my sister with the announcement and added “Help me!” at the end.  This wasn't a cheap purchase and to be really honest, I didn't want it.   I wasn't opposed to canning.  I just don’t know one thing about it and outside of tomatoes, we don’t have a garden.  So, as we load our 25qt ELECTRIC pressure cooker in the truck, I call my granny.  I told her about our find and asked her what exactly I was going to do with an electric pressure cooker.  Her exact words were, “Well, hun, I just don’t know.”  Ok, red flag number one.  My canning all her life grandma doesn't know what to do with this thing.  Red flag number 2 was when Jason called his dad and he proclaimed he’d never seen an electric pressure cooker but he’d like to see this one.  We bring it in and Jason places it on the counter.  It takes up my entire counter space for the night.  The next day, I get up and see it and am reminded we have a a giant pressure cooker and I need to know what to do with it.  Later that afternoon, I google it with few results.  I got up and look at the label and got more specific in my search.  I kept being taken to sites concerning “ clinical fungi cultivation” sites.  Lab grown mushrooms, I was confused.  I dug further, changing my google search terms and reading on forums when I noticed that kept calling this model a “steroclave” instead of pressure cooker/canner.  There was discussion of converting it which proved to be dangerous and not recommended.  That’s when I finally found it.  I found the exact model we have at “LionsDental.com.”  Strange.  As I read further, I find the uses for this equipment include sterilizing and sanitizing dental instruments.  Yep, it was finally clear.  We have ourselves an autoclave.  Working in a lab for years pre-children, I am familiar with autoclaves and sterilization but not of this exact variety.  I was laughing at my realization but needed concrete proof for Jason that I wasn't making this up.  And there it was, at the bottom of the page.  It clearly states in italics “this is an autoclave and not a pressure canner.  They look very similar but they are made very differently.” 

Ok, I think I have my proof.  You can’t argue with that.  When Jason got home, I delivered the bad news about his white elephant and he was surprisingly humored by our mistake. 

In his defense, he knows a good deal when he sees one.  It was about $94 at Bargain Hunt but it was $648 on Lion’s Dental.  Now that’s a good deal.  If you needed an autoclave.  We don’t. 

Who’d have ever thought we’d be the proud owners of an autoclave.  It makes me laugh. 

Luckily they have a 30 day return policy.  

Guest Blogger: Once upon a Friday night...

Lucky me!  I have my first guest blogger and it's none other than my mother!  She's super talented in child rearing (hence moi!), has some mad sewing and photography skills and tops the list of  world's best Nana's by handing out organic suckers and performing regular science experiments to keep the grands well entertained.  She's the best.  

If you live in the south, you go to high school football games.  Que the Friday night lights.  This particular Friday night was still in August and the Alabama humidity was still lingering like a think wool blanket.  Sweet Lincoln was spending a few days with us (aka Camp Nanapawpaw) and we had to show him what football is all about.  After I got home from a long day of educating, I prepared for a hot night sweltering in the bleachers.  The packing of our carpet bag of goodies included our trusty "misty mate" (possibly best amazon.com purchase ever), lots of water and more snacks than a drive-thru convenience store.  We head to the game and already score a WIN with a free and decent parking place.  We swam through a sea of former students who all wanted to pinch sweet Lincoln's cheeks.  And who wouldn't?
The first thing to make its way out of the carpet bag once we were seated was that misty mate.  It did it's job and did it well.  We stayed cool along with most of the folks around us.  I'm not 100 percent sure they enjoyed the free shower but if they were nearly as hot as we were, they didn't really mind.
Next comes the snacks.  Suckers, fruit gummies and grapes, Oh my!  Lincoln never wiggled or pestered, he just sat in my lap a while then shifted to pawpaw's lap while watching the pre-game activities.  Lincoln had a bright idea and asked me if he could yell "Go Commodores".  I said sure buddy.  I believe the Trojan mascot reminded him of the ugly old commodore at the Vandy games.
Dinner at the game was Band Booster Burgers.  The concession stand special.  I'm guessing they were not cholesterol free but they were good nonetheless.  Even Linc at a few bites but mostly he just guzzled the soda.  He really enjoyed the half time show.
By this time, night has fallen, the misty mate is out of water and Linc begins to snuggle.  (Nana loves!)
Over the loud speaker the announcer says "TIME OUT, Muscle Shoals."  Lincoln looks up to me and says, "Nana, Are we in time out?"  A chuckle and reassuring hug let him know we were not.  It was about the football game.  At the beginning of the 4th quarter Lincoln announce he is ready to go home.  So guess what we did?

The Wild Wild West- Part 1

Did you know that I flew with the boys to California this summer?  Yep, WAAAAaaaay back in June, the boys and I flew to LA.  It was  a trip YEARS in the making.  Apparently the blog is becoming years in the making too.  Or maybe it's that I have just recently  recovered from the wrath of flying across the US with 2 children under 6.  It was a fantastic fun filled trip that is going to span over the course of more than a couple of blogs and quite possibly more than a few months but hey...you gotta start somewhere.  

I begin with our airport excitement.  I was fortunate o have my mom on the first few days of the trip and I was just glad to have her along to spread out some of the chaos.  As we sat at our gate, there were whispers as boarding was nearing that Jackson was seated next to someone we should know.  Mom is texting me across the isle as he begins to pack up that it is Al Gore.  As he stands in the "premium boarding line, we walk over to him and Jackson walks right up and says "Are you the vice-president?" To which he answers, "I used to be." and Jackson goes on to ask permission to have his photo made with him and my little history buff stands tall beside former Vice President Al Gore as he waits to board a Southwest flight to LA. It was our first actual celebrity sighting in Nashville.

We arrived to an entourage and our name plastered on a sign.  WE felt like the celebrities then!  With a fully loaded mini-van and one of the best girlfriends I have waiting on us, we were in LA now baby!  That van was packed out with more snacks than we could shake a stick at.  (did I just say that?)  Yeah and we ain't in Tennessee anymore either. Nope, this was Beverly Hills.  Swimming Pools and Movie Stars.  My only LA request was to see the Hollywood sign.  I didn't quite know what I was asking or what we were in for.  I was completely unaware of LA traffic.  So, we took a leisurely ride through Hollywood, saw Rodeo Dr but didn't unload the clown wagon.  We passed through the movie star houses of Beverly Hills and even caught a glimpse of what appeared to be Jesus Christ.  A man fully dressed in a white cloak tied at the waist with long hair was wandering the streets there.  I'm not judging.  No.  It was just unexpected to see such a sight.  You just never know folks.  It's California.   Right before we got on the freeway Mari yelled "Look quick, Jamie! There's your sign."  Sure enough Waaaaay off in the distance, I saw my first and only glimpse of the Hollywood sign.  In her defense,  LA was MUCH larger than I had anticipated and getting there would have been a feat the children wouldn't have handled.

That night we learned what a process feeding and watering 5 children 3 meals and 50 snacks a day was going to entail.  It was going to require wine so naturally, we indulged.

The kids were thrilled to see each other.  It was non stop chatter, well, non-stop.  We stayed near the Capo house at Dana Point.  I learned so much about California geography while I was there.  We stayed just down the street from Doheney State Park which the Beach boys sang about.

This little spot may have been my kids most favorite memory of the entire week in CA.  Better than any Zoo or Theme Park.  These are the "Shallow tadpoles" or formerly known as the "shallow tide pools".  Sunday morning was low tide and it made great exploring weather.  It was a bit on the chilly side and June gloom was in full effect on the coastal front.  I will never forget how much the weather could change from morning to midday to evening.  I will never forget how COLD it is in June while it tops 100 in TN.

The tide pools were beautiful and fantastically crawling with creatures of all kinds.  There was no stopping these kids in their quest for crabs, anemone and sea urchins.

Gabe and Jackson were convinced they could make it our to this giant rock but as the tide started coming back in, they had to turn around and they were so close!

We were so glad Nana could be there for the first few days of the trip.  The science teacher in her just loved all the learning involved in the tide pool exploration.  It wouldn't be our last trip to the tide pools this week.

We walked around this "haunted ship" to Baby Beach in the harbor.  The kids loved the pier and beach with no waves.  I reveled in watching the body boarders skim across the slick water.

We spent the afternoon at the Capistrano Mission.  It is beautiful.  Breathtaking, really.  I am certain that the kids enjoyed it for different reasons than I did but we all did and that's what matters.  My favorite part of the mission was the history of the return of the swallows where for centuries  flocks of swallows have returned to the mission to build nests.  It was fascinating to say the least.

Getting everyone to smile for a photo.  Well, that'd be downright Miraculous.  We try, oh do we try.

The kids figure out that these koi would eat anything.  They were fed, pieces of apple and cheese-its that we found in our bags.

The grande finale for the kids was this giant slop bucket.  You could pay $3 and get to stick your hands into this giant vat of muddy lukewarm water and come out with salt grains of... wait for it...fools gold.  I swore I wouldn't stick my hands in that mess but I ate my words and did it to make the boy happy.  They should at least give you the hope of finding real gold if you're going to stick your hands into THAT!

There you have it folks.  Finally.  3 months, ok, 4 months later.  Those are merely the first 2 glorious days we spent in (not so) sunny southern California!

I Want To Go Shopping! Chicago edition

 I finally did it!  After 10 years of marriage and 2 children, I finally took that all girls trip I've been dreaming of.  I've been plenty of places but this was me, my friends and a whole lotta SHOPPING!  It was a little over 48 fantastic hours that I won't forget!

There were 9 of us total.  We managed to all be on one flight into Chicago so landing and luggage wasn't too much of an issue but the buck stopped there.  We were brave (and cheap) girls and we were going to L train it into the city instead of hailing a cab.  Well...we discover AFTER we bought weekend train tickets that there is a line down for maintenance and it was going to require us to change trains to get to our destination.  TWICE.  Now here you have to picture 9 girls and all of their belongings being carted up and down stairs inside subway tunnels.  We were sure that others did this but when we looked around, we began to doubt our big idea. That was only the beginning.

 It was rather warm inside the subway tunnels.  We were hot and hungry and for me at least, that isn't a good combination!

 We finally emerged and to our surprise and delight, we were posed right under this sign.  I think I must have been the most compelled by it as I began taking pictures and totally neglected my suitcase and left it sitting on the sidewalk while I walked around with my mouth open like I had never seen a large city before.  You ain't never seen a southern girl run faster in wedges than I did back to get that suitcase that luckily was right where I left it!

 And so begins our journey to the hotel.  We spent a while walking this way.
Then we turned around and went back the other way for a while.  Then we took a left.  Indeed, it should have been a right.  This would all have been great in the name of sightseeing but we were all dragging 50lb suitcases behind us and looked a bit like a herd of church ladies.  Maybe we were a herd of church ladies.  We were still trying to convince ourselves that walking and dragging suitcases is what all the cityfolk do and we could fit right in.  We didn't.  It might have been me behind them with the camera or the one in front with the iphone and walking directions but we and our big southern accents stuck out like a VW bug at a monster trunk show.

 I have to admit, our little walking tour was beautiful and when we were nearly at our destination, we got to see the iconic Michigan Ave. bridge.  We picked an incredible weekend weather wise.  It wasn't hot or cold and the skies were beyond blue.  I enjoyed the architecture of the city more than I realized.  This summer, I've successfully visited 3 of the 4 largest cities in America (LA, Houston and Chicago).  For a metropolitan area, Chicago was the most picturesque.

 As soon as we dropped those bags, lunch was imperative   We were all pretty hungry but also mesmerized by the river that runs through the city.  We ate at a little bar on the riverside and the food exceeded our expectations.  Service for 9 is sometimes dicey.  I guess waiters cringed to see us coming but didn't mind so much when it was time to get an 18% mandatory tip.

 After lunch, we took the Magnificent Mile by storm.  We descended on that place like a meteor shower and we didn't let up until it was time to refuel.  I could say it was overwhelming but we had strategy.  One side of the road at a time.  There was a 7, yep seven story shopping area and it included a nice Sephora.  Well, you can just imagine putting 9 girls in makeup store with makeovers being done complementary.  I was in pure cosmetic bliss while introducing some of the girls to my favorite products.  Sure, I learned a thing or two also and came out with a new definition of liquid cheek stain (blush) that has changed my application habits for the better.  Man, I really do love cosmetics.

 The last store of the evening was H&M.  We don't have one of those here in Nasvhille (but we should!) so it was a mandatory stop.  It was crazy chaos to shop in there let alone the hysterical 20 text a minute conversations the 9 of us kept rolling.  It was laughable for sure but everyone came out with armloads of shopping bags and we hoofed it back to the hotel for dinner prep.

 Our dinner plan was Chicago style pizza and a fantastic concierge helped us secure a great reservation to the perfect place.  We didn't just cab it to the restaurant either.  We took a LIMO!  Apparently it is cheaper to "ride in bulk" and we were on a minivan boycott for the weekend so Limo it was!

 Jason had taken a trip to Chicago last year and he specifically told me to eat here.  He says I never listen and it's true.  I listened to the concierge though and he led me here also.  Thanks for the recommendation babe!

 We sat 3 floors up but we had our own private room.  That was lucky for us, this way we could really loosen up our belts.  No really, we had to loosen our belts to eat this fantastic pizza.  My life and view of pizza will forever be altered.

 Our next venture was, well, interesting.  We found ourselves on the ROOF.  The rooftop bar at the Wit.  It was far more of a "scene" than we were looking for.  Think: Vegas nightclub as they fist-pump giant flaming bottles of grey goose to a reserved table complete with a go-go dancer for eye candy.  There was flashing laser beams and loud techno music that was impossible to dance to.  We moms of multiples were in over our head.  We all yelled to each other over the music how we don't remember liking this scene when it WAS our scene.  As absolutely fascinating as it was to watch the people interact, we couldn't help but feel as if they were merely searching and as we happily finished our ONE drink, we realized that we just might have what they are longing for.  Suburban life is where it's at, ya'll!

 Ms. Stephanie is quite proficient at hailing a cab.  She gets the credit for planning this trip.  It ain't easy to please 9 girls at the same time.  I'm glad somebody is willing to do it.  I'm also glad it wasn't me!

 It was a long hard day of shopping and this little bottle of wine (or two) was the perfect way to end the evening.

 We even managed to convince some stranger to gather us up for a photo on the Michigan Ave. bridge.  There you have it. Nine girls perfectly posed and smiling.  Everyone is working their "skinny arm."  I like to look back at this photo and remember "this is what we look like without our gym clothes on!"

 No trip to Chicago will be complete without seeing "the bean".  I fell in LOVE with it after seeing it on The Vow    I had to go there and I wasn't disappointed.  It was really cool and for me a photog nerd, I loved the reflection photos.  It is truly a piece of art.

Cheers to the time of your life with 9 of your closest girlfriends!
  I'm already counting down till next year!
Nashville wouldn't be the same without them.
 No where else will be either...