Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Passover Fail and Tooth Fairy Beware

A few weeks ago, Lincoln visited my parents church.  He got a bag of drawings and crafts when he left and brought it home with him.  It sat on the table a day or two and then I took it out and he was standing nearby so I had him come and tell me about what he had learned.  There was a doodling picture first and he said, "I drew that".  Next, I pulled out a craft with popcicle sticks or cotton balls, I'm not sure now because next I pulled out this photo.  Through my wide eyed look, I managed to ask Lincoln, "What's this picture about?"
He nonchalantly told me, "Ah, Jesus just shot all the kids!"

WHAT?!?  I had to turn from him.  I was shocked.  I was horrified.  I was too speechless to even correct my obviously misled child.  
The picture alone was already graphic enough for the 3 year old set but to think MY child now thinks Jesus shot people, that he even had a GUN.  
Yep, looks like we have some work to do. 
 Let's start with "Jesus loves me" and go from there.

Jackson brought this home from school last week:

In case you can't read it,
 "this is a real tooth it does not look like one but it is a tooth  
sincerely Jackson 
 p.s  I am going to grab you! 
 me want you!"
His plan was to fool the tooth fairy into giving him money with this "fake" tooth.  He even fashioned a tooth out of paper and add a tinge of blood to make it believable.  
Oh, what a web we weave.  

 For the record, he hasn't gotten up the nerve to try it just yet.  If he did, I'm certain the tooth fairy would have written him back and he probably wouldn't like what she'd have to say!

On Friday we went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory play at St. Henry's catholic school nearby.  Before we left, we were discussing what school it was and I told Jackson it was a private school.

He of course thinks about it and then inquires  "What is a private school? Why is it private?"  Obviously referring to the "parts" form of private we use.  I told him it was a school not everyone could go to which left him with more questions.  "Why couldn't everyone go?  What do they do in private school?"  I got right to the point with, "It costs too much for us, honey" and that ended that.

This weekend in the car Lincoln was telling us a long drawn out story and was reminiscing by saying to Jackson, "A long time ago when I was a boy, and when you were a boy..." Jackson interrupted annoyingly saying, "Lincoln, we were ALWAYS boys!  Well... at least I was.  You used to be a girl but I've always been a boy!"  Oh, brothers!

We made a Sunday trip to the Kroger Clinic this weekend for Jackson.  I hardly ever have sick kids.  Ever. But if one of them has a fever you can mark your word, they are really sick.  Well, on Sunday, you'll have to wait even at Kroger Clinic.  Jackson was not too sick to be Mr. Talky and the guy across from him noticed his inquisitive nature (aka How much is one million times a billion?)  They middle aged guy asked if Jackson wanted to ask Siri on his ipad a question about populations or land mass.  When the ipad answered the question, it referred to him as "sexy beast."  Jackson didn't miss a beat snickering and asking him why his ipad called him "sexy beast".  I didn't bother to jump in while the man explained to my 7 year old why his ipad considered him a "sexy beast".  He wasted no time asking her to now call him "Allen".

I was making a smoothie for the kids for breakfast last week.  I had it packed with frozen fruits, milk, juice and then I topped it off with spinach to get some iron and greens into the kids without their knowledge.  Well, Lincoln walks around the corner, see the smoothie and loudly announces, "JACKSON, mom's putting salad in our smoothie again!"
You don't get much by these kids.  They drank it either way, at least Jackson did. Lincoln claimed, "he don't like salad!"

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