Friday, April 23, 2010

Things that have changed around here

1. I spend ALOT less time on the computer (so not nearly as much time for blogging)

2. I do not stay up nearly as late. (hence see #1)

3. I have twice as much laundry. (how can one adult add twice as much?)

4. We spend ALOT more money. I thought I was bad but when you put us together Ay-ay-ay.

5. I no longer need to exercise. (Ok, I have ran a FEW times since he's been home but not the amount I swore to when I wanted him home.)

6. I get up at 7am or earlier everyday of the week. (oh, wait, that hasn't changed, has it??)

7. I have a few times gotten up to coffee in bed OR coffee that I didn't have to make!

8. Trash? What the heck is that? I just put it in the can and it somehow disappears!

9. We have fast food! Before his return, I could count on one hand the times I had been to the 3 fast food joints that opened next door. You know, you never actually eat there when you have them next door. This week, I can't count on one hand the times he's driven over to pick up something and sure, I had a little too. Now, I must go, there are McD's pancakes to eat for what might or might not be the second time this week!

10. There is a boat in the back yard, the yard is pretty again and the garage is offically a place to hang out. (and possibly get away from pesky children, per Jason)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Happy Days!

It's true! After a week off, I've finally came up for air and am back to blogging! I've been putting off this blog and composing several others because I don't exactly know what to write about probably the happiest day of my life (ok, pretty close!)
I know most of you have seen the pictures and know the whole whining story about the delays and torture the previous week but last Saturday morning, we finally got the "confirmed" call that we had a non-stop plane full of daddies over the big volcano covered Atlantic Ocean. In probably one of the ONLY flights allowed over the big ocean at the time.

{Insert here for history's sake} A VOLCANO in ICELAND has closed airspace over most of Europe and kept it closed for nearly a week. This happened the day before our 5th change in flights was about to take off. It was the first thing I see the morning I know he's supposed to leave Kuwait after being re-routed from Kyrgyzstan.

So, lucky us, the COL for all of 82nd CAB was on Jason's flight and there was NO volcano in Iceland stopping this guy from getting home. On a VERY nice 777 jet, he flew in at 5:15pm.
I spent the day making last minute preparations and doing things I had been holding off a week on doing. I made some great signs and hung them, ordered take out and double checked the liquor stock for Jason. Thanks to Mari, I had the morning off from talky-talk and Lincoln took a great nap so I could get ready.

We made our way to green ramp about 4pm. Jackson had a good time with his friends awaiting the arrival of their daddy's too. The plane landed and they marched in about 5:45. Not 15 minutes later, we were standing on top of a bench with our signs waiting for daddy to find us.
Jackson ran and got the first hug but the first kiss was ALL MINE!
Lincoln fell in LOVE with the guy the minute he saw him. He wanted him to hold him and check out his cool hat. We were all amazed at how much Lincoln liked his Daddy on their second ever meeting.
(Thanks, Kathie, for making our photos!)

After our 15 minutes of allotted family time, he went to finish his army duties and we left to pick up Hooters and Sushi! (nothing but the finest for my hero!)
Jason drove himself home and got there about 8pm.

Since then, we've been to wal-mart a few times, cleaned the yard, eaten out more times than I can count ( I CAN cook, you know!), taken naps almost daily and watched 3 movies. (2 were so terrible, I am ashamed Jason picked them!)

You're welcome for getting the "Happy Days" theme song stuck in your head but it was appropriate for this week....Sunday, Monday, Happy Days!!!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

This ride is officially OVER! Now get off!

Ok, so after a week of pure emotional roller coaster madness, this ride is officially over. I have one HOT man in a large aircraft somewhere over the Atlantic ocean right now. It is still a bit of disbelief. Should I really get excited now? I'm still trying to comprehend that I just slept in that bed alone for the LAST time! And get this folks, I will never ever have to take that trash out again!!! Now that's something to get excited about.
The house isn't perfect, although I had plenty of time to make it that way, the yard isn't perfect either, and my body, ain't what it was when he left and that was 8 months pregnant!!! My shoes match my dress, my toes match my earrings, necklace and ring...I'd say I'm ready.
Mile 26 proved to be the hardest and the longest stretching on for a total of about 2 weeks with more hills than I had trained for as an Army wife. I felt my breaking point reach it's peak more than a few times this week. But I'm officially in the finishers chute.
Now, I sit, drinking coffee as the sole adult in the house for the last time (I know, I've said that alot) and now I get to go wake a 4 year old up and yell "YOUR DADDY IS COMING HOME"!!!
It's been a wild ride. Hands down, hardest deployment of the 3. But, well, in a matter of a few hours, this ride is officially OVER!

And, um, yeah, pictures to follow....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

When the good news goes bad...

Are you freakin' kidding me? After change number 6, or is it 7, you'd think I just get used to it but somehow you never do. You never learn NOT to get your hopes up. You never learn to expect bad news every time the phone rings.

Someone please tell me how to keep explaining to my 4 year old why the date of his daddy coming home keeps getting changed. He's usually my rock. "Don't be sad mommy, daddy will be home when ALL the buttercups have bloomed." And then tonight, as I got another round of bad news and cried on the way home from the daycare, he cried with me saying, "Why does the Army keep changing it? Can't he talk to the Army?" How's that on top of the heartache I'm already feeling.

If you haven't already figured out, I don't have anything good or positive to say. I wish I could be "stronger" but that ran out about 2 weeks ago. I can say, I've never been more sure of our decision to GET OUT of the Army.

I know, most of the situations couldn't be helped, planes broken, turmoil in Kyrgyzstan, more broken plans but try telling that to my heart longing for my husband, kids longing for their daddy and days after days that we'll never get back. I've been wishing my life away for a year now and I'm ready for that to STOP.

I want to be angry, but at who? I want to yell and stomp and say things I shouldn't but what good does it do. So what now? I wait. Just like him, I wait.

I don't even begin to imagine how he must feel. His wife needs him, his 4 year old is crying for him and his 10 month old doesn't have a CLUE who he is. He's been done with his work for over a week and his only duties are to report 2 times daily to receive either NO news or good news...that turns bad.

So that's my sad, pitiful excuse for an update. One day, I'll get back to posting happy, funny, shiny, whitty blogs but it ain't happening today.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

If you can't say something nice

A wise rabbit once said "If you can't say something nice...don't say nutin' at all."

That is the sum of how I am feeling right now. We are 2 days from our original stated date of arrival of our "complete" family and as of now, there is NO future dates to discuss. Jason is still in Afghanistan and I'm still home alone. 60% of our unit arrived on April 5th and while I celebrate those homecomings, it's bittersweet until they all get back.

His feelings: It's something like being a prisoner of war. A prisoner of the Army being held past your duty when you are supposed to be on your way home to your family.

My feelings: He's been there a year already, I've had a baby, moved from Alabama back to NC again, made more dinners, bottles and doctor visits than I care to remember. I'm still mom and dad. Our paper chain that we made is Null and needs to be burned in the back yard. My 4 year old states that "we don't know when Daddy is coming home, the Army keeps changing it." Now that's wise! Most days, I feel physical heart pain when I get his phone calls knowing they bear news that I have already "heard" from other wives in the same situation. I find out most of my official information on Facebook. In an attempt to find out what the heck was going on in the country he was supposed to fly out of today, I watched the news this morning. As I drank my cup of coffee, I was sickened further by the fact that ALL ALL ALL they talked about was Tiger Woods, his infidelity and his return to golf. Is that all that is important in this world? How many Americans actually know there are thousands of troops stranded away from their families and while their duty is done, they still wait, we still wait. They didn't seem to have any problem getting them over there.
It's a yo-yo effect, first, he's coming home, then he's delayed, then we get a call that future dates are "Uncertain" and they are looking into alternate flight routes. How long will this take?
It kills the excitement, it takes alot out of you. The back and forth, dates changing constantly. Sure, he'll get home soon but Tomorrow wouldn't be soon enough for missing out on a year. Every day he's gone longer feels like it's time that is stolen from me, time I will never get back and he will never get to spend with his children. One who adores him and one who doesn't even know him yet. My heart aches every time I go to bed and even more so now that the "light at the end of the tunnel" has began to fade. I don't know how many more nights I have until I don't have to sleep alone again. I don't know how many more times I will put the kids to bed and we will pray for Daddy to come home. I don't know how many more times I'll have to take out that STUPID trash!

This is not a happy blog. I apologize if it depresses you to even read it. No, I don't have anything nice to say right now and I should say nothing at all but if blogs are about writing your feelings, well there you have it and it ain't good!