Are you freakin' kidding me? After change number 6, or is it 7, you'd think I just get used to it but somehow you never do. You never learn NOT to get your hopes up. You never learn to expect bad news every time the phone rings.
Someone please tell me how to keep explaining to my 4 year old why the date of his daddy coming home keeps getting changed. He's usually my rock. "Don't be sad mommy, daddy will be home when ALL the buttercups have bloomed." And then tonight, as I got another round of bad news and cried on the way home from the daycare, he cried with me saying, "Why does the Army keep changing it? Can't he talk to the Army?" How's that on top of the heartache I'm already feeling.
If you haven't already figured out, I don't have anything good or positive to say. I wish I could be "stronger" but that ran out about 2 weeks ago. I can say, I've never been more sure of our decision to GET OUT of the Army.
I know, most of the situations couldn't be helped, planes broken, turmoil in Kyrgyzstan, more broken plans but try telling that to my heart longing for my husband, kids longing for their daddy and days after days that we'll never get back. I've been wishing my life away for a year now and I'm ready for that to STOP.
I want to be angry, but at who? I want to yell and stomp and say things I shouldn't but what good does it do. So what now? I wait. Just like him, I wait.
I don't even begin to imagine how he must feel. His wife needs him, his 4 year old is crying for him and his 10 month old doesn't have a CLUE who he is. He's been done with his work for over a week and his only duties are to report 2 times daily to receive either NO news or good news...that turns bad.
So that's my sad, pitiful excuse for an update. One day, I'll get back to posting happy, funny, shiny, whitty blogs but it ain't happening today.
Not sorry
8 years ago