Monday, April 9, 2012

Best friends, bathroom words and other deFoor musings

"What came first Jesus or the dinosaurs?"

I was recently asked this question driving to church one evening by my 6 year old.  I asked him to choose his own answer.  He chose Jesus.  We've got to work on the timing of our history and maybe a touch on the Trinity.
These are a collection of the latest musings from the deFoor boys.  They were collected over the past month or so for your reading pleasure and to insure I'd never forget some of the funny things they say.  Enjoy!

From the eldest (Jason jr):

On a recent trip to Home Depot, we were gathering materials for a project when we spotted the latest spring flowers.  We each decided which ones were the prettiest.  He must have been in a super sweet mood when he said " You always pick out the prettiest flowers mom."  "I'm sorry they all died."
We then had a discussion about how annuals require planting each year vs perennials keep coming back when you think they are dead.  He thought and then deducted, "So those kind are kind of like Zombies (they come back from the dead)?"  Sure, son.

We were having a little lesson in keeping our hands to ourselves and minding our own business.  I was confirming that's what they must do in school with Jackson when he said, "Yeah, Lincoln, Hominy don't play that!" 
 Hominy?  really?  What does my child know about hominy?

Jackson and his dad are best friends.  Since he could speak, he's been brainwashing that boy into claiming him as his best friend.  Well, it's worked.  Jackson is always proclaiming his dad as his best friend but it's not easy for tenderhearted Jackson.  He has a hard time when I act upset about the whole "best friend" thing.  We were alone in the car recently and he said, "Mom, you can be my best friend!"  I was melting and said "thanks, Jackson!"  A few minutes passed as I gloated in best friend style he finally confessed, "Mom, I'm not really your best friend, I'm still Dad's.  I just don't want to hurt your feelings so I'll say I'm yours when I'm with you and then I'll really be Dad's."  

Jackson was recently chowing down on some infamous girl scout cookies.  Mid bite he told Jason and I, "those girls make some good cookies!!"
Indeed they do Jackson, indeed they do!

After studying the presidents in school during February and hearing a little about the primaries at home, Jackson was full of questions.  He asked his dad, "How old do you have to be to become president?"  Jason said he thought it was 35.  Jackson said, "Dad, I think you'd make a great president."  
Later that same night while bathing, Jackson was still pondering the question of the future presidency (aren't we all!) when he finally came to a conclusion.  He said "Mom, I've decided I'm going to vote for Barak Obama."  I was very intrested to discover his reasoning so I inquired. His reply: "Well, he's already been the president for 8 years(?) AND he's still alive (as opposed to all the dead presidents he's been studying, Washington, Lincoln, etc.)"  I guess that's as good a reason as any.  He's still alive.

I rarely have sick kids but a couple of weeks ago, I surely did.  I got a call from Jackson's school that he was in the office crying and had a small fever.  I knew right away that if he had any fever at all, he was sick.  I think he may have only had a fever one other time in his 6 years of life!  I picked him up and he was warm and claimed his throat hurt.  I immediately called his doctor to rule out strep.  I had that a few years ago and I don't mess around with it.  Before we got home, he was sick to his stomach.  Luckily, I live like a vagabond out of my car and had a lunch sack lined with napkins readily available to save my car from disaster.  We were in and out of the doctor in an hour and he called the antibiotics into publix for me.  Did you know that publix has FREE antibiotics.  Apparently, it's common practice now but I see it as a genius marketing strategy.  You see, they said it would be free and ready in about 20 minutes.  Do you have any idea how much money you can drop on things you didn't even know you needed inside Publix in 20 minutes.  $40, in my case anyway.  And I'm a conservative, on sale shopper.  Free antibiotics, my foot.  They know you're not just gonna stand there and wait for it.  They might as well say come back when you've spent your weekly grocery allowance.
But thanks for the "free" antibiotics.  I had a well child the very next day!

Wisdom from the Young one, One big adorable mischievous MESS:

Lincoln could otherwise be known as the gum bandit.  We are in the process of looking up gum detox facilities for this gum hoarder.  It's like he has a gum radar.  He can see it/smell it from a mile away.  He can find it in a purse when you didn't even know you had gum.  He's quick as lightening and before you know it, he's chewing away on gum you didn't allow him to have.  When it's on my watch, the gum he didn't ask for goes directly in the garbage.  Sometimes Most times it hasn't even lost it's flavor before I catch him.  Lately he's been known to hid while partaking in the forbidden fruit flavored wax.  I called him from downstairs and he didn't answer.  That was my sign.  As I walk downstairs from the shower I see tiny bits of evidence(gum paper)  and as I continue to call him he bounces out from behind my glider rocker with the unmistakable scent of gum on his breath.  When I go to secure the crime scene, I find he has spit out his gum on my floor in fear of being caught.  He wasn't just caught.  He was going to gum jail.

After a recent stay at the YMCA, Lincoln emptied the mulch out of his shoes into my floorboard.  I asked what he was doing with his shoes off and he exclaimed, "I've got playground in muah SHOES!"

It was good while it lasted.  Lincoln is nearly 3 years old and has always loved his crib but he has recently learned how to climb out of it.  He's long been capable of doing so but he's pretty content in there with his fishy music box and his bank (blanket).  Lately he's been rising extra early and I can no longer ignore the "Mommy" cries he calls because now they are in my face demanding breakfast.

I was getting Lincoln out of the car one day and he asked me,
L:  "Mom, Did you poot?"
Me: "No, son, I didn't"
L: "Mom, Seriously?"
(for the record, I absolutely did not!)
We get a lot of what we call "bathroom talk".  I claim it's boys but there is something so appealing about saying words that only belong in a bathroom.  This is one of those times he's pushing the envelope to see how far he can go before spending 5 minutes in the bathroom.

His new favorite word-"Perfect!"
Lincoln how's your milk?  "Perfect"
Lincoln, how did you sleep? "Perfect"
How does your dinner look? "Perfect"

Before church, I was asking him "Lincoln, who are you going to see today at church?"
He replies, "God!"
I think he's got the right idea.

Also at church, my mom and dads church, we observed a baptism service.  He and Jackson were intrigued by the baptistry.  I overheard him telling Jackson, "That up there, that's where Jesus lives in the water."
Who knew, Jesus lived in the water.  I wonder if he thinks it's like his own private pool.

Now most of you won't really care much about this video but to the people mentioned in it, it is priceless!  And I feel confident that we should continue to save for Lincoln's college education.  There is no singing talent imbeded in those lungs.  But it sure is cute!

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