He's a Maniac!

A pyro-maniac.

Lincoln is easily one of the most self entertained kids I know.  I have to regularly ask him "Lincoln, what are you doing?" because he'll be off on his own for long enough that I need to worry about him.  Sometimes, he's messing in the water or dabbling in paints that he knows he'd need my permission for but usually he's playing something (not toys) that is perfectly fine.  He's just easy like that.  He doesn't need my constant attention and it's a good thing too.  So last week, I have a baby in my lap asleep, a computer in front of me doing some work and I'm on the phone negotiating my cell phone contract.  Lincoln goes outside.  I assume he's chasing butterflies, watering his bean sprouts or jumping on the trampoline.  He stayed out there for quite some time.  I finished the call and finally laid the baby down in her crib and I walked outside to show some attention to Lincoln.  He deserved it for allowing me to finish my business without interruption.  I walk outside  trying to squash some mommy guilt and call for him.  He pops up from behind the charcoal grill located near the back of the house.  I ask him, "What were you doing?".  It was that mom-tuition that told me the way he "popped" up that it was something he knew better than to do. 

 He slyly says, "Well, I was um, doing nothing." 

 Mmmmhmmm.  

And I'm a monkey's uncle. 

 He hasn't learned the art of deception yet and his actions were a dead give away.  It helped that I had already spotted the paraphernalia.  

I told him sternly, "I'm going to ask you again.  What were you doing?"

He huffed and puffed, knowing he'd been found out.  He rolled his eyes and said, "I JUST wanted to burn something!" Lincoln had collected all the lighters from our gas grill and taken them behind the house.  He'd also placed a stick in the ground in preparation for his little fiasco.   As he looked up at me I realized he had already burned something.  He'd singed his hair in the front just a tiny bit.  I wasn't just angry, I was terrified!  I didn't know how to show him this was a most serious offence.  We spent the next bit of quality time discussing how dangerous it was to play with fire.  We went into great detail of what could happen and how quickly it could get out of control then I took it a step further.  Google and I showed Lincoln what could happen to kids that play with fire and get burned.  I don't think he will forget those images anytime soon.  Neither will I unfortunately.  There was specifically a baby that got burned on there and he asked how a baby could play with fire.  I was sure to tell him, it wasn't the baby.  It was probably her brother!    Over the top?  Maybe.  But we can all rest assured that Lincoln won't be playing with fire ever again.

Later that same week, another eerily quite moment led to me asking, "Linc, what are you doing?"  As he slid his hand behind his back I held my hand out and asked for what he was hiding.  He handed me a safety pin.  I asked him what he was doing with this pin and he said, "I JUST wanted to stick a needle in me."  Oy!  Who is this kid and why is he self harming?  After a few more moments of questioning it was clear that he'd seen Jackson stick a needle into the top layer of skin and it didn't even hurt. Lincoln was trying to replicate that party trick.  He just didn't realize that there was more to it than just poking a needle in you.  We had a discussion on how needles can hurt you and cause you to have to go to the hospital too.  I wasn't prepared to have this conversation quite so early, or ever for that matter!  

 I'm sure I could come up with more things recently that Lincoln's done to crack me up and keep me on my toes but if I don't go to bed with haste I won't be on my A game when it comes to stomping out fires and keeping Lincoln safe.  It's a tough job.  Lucky for him, it's one I deeply love!  

The funny things they say

Again, typing one handed is beyond my abilities so these little gems have been accumulating in the notes section of my iphone kinda like all the photos I still have to upload.   I'm just thankful to the time to sit down and put them in the phone these days.  Blogging them is a total bonus and since my dinner alarm is due to go off any minute now, it may take me a while but here goes.

When I was in the hospital and a few days afterward, Lincoln pointed out that I still had a fat belly.  Leave it to kids to boost your self esteem like that.  Around week 3 post partum, he walked in and said happily, "Mom!  You're fat belly, it's gone away now!"  That's one compliment I'll take!

Jackson woke up one day and as I was making his breakfast he said, "Mom, why do you have a black eye?" Um, that's not a black eye son, that's severe sleep deprivation.  I guess it's time to invest in the high dollar concealer again!

Lincoln asked me innocently, "mom, how do you drive with your knee?"  Ooops.  Guess I am busted!

Lincoln said this week, "Mom, I thought I heard a cat.  It was baby sister.  She sounds like a cat."  I have to agree.  She squeaks like a baby kitten.

We were on a solo bike ride and Lincoln said "look mom, it's the corn dogs" while pointing at the pond foliage.  They are cat tails but I can see corn dogs, can't you?

Lincoln came home from preschool recently and told us there was a girl in his class and every time he looked at her all he could think about was marrying her!  That pretty serious for a 4 year old relationship.  We inquired if she was his girlfriend and he said yes but we were not to tell Jackson!  Then we asked her name and he couldn't remember.  The first thing he did when Jackson came home was spill the beans about his girlfriend.  So don't ever bother telling Lincoln your secret!   The next few days I asked him to find out her name and every time he'd bring her up it was the same story.  She was his girlfriend but he didn't know her name.  I told him I'm pretty sure Alan Jackson wrote a song about this kind of thing but I'd really like to know her name before they get married.  He had mentioned that she was the new girl in his class so one day I asked the teachers who the new girl was.  Turns out her name is Leighton and she IS in fact his girlfriend.  The teacher had noticed them talking.  Later that week I picked up some flowers and was going to share them with his preschool teachers.  As I was purchasing them he asked me if those were for his girlfriend?  Ha!  No but I said he could bring her one and he certainly did!  It seems I may have a ladies man on my hands here!

Jackson came downstairs one afternoon after playing outside and said

 "Mom, I think I need some of that odor." 

 I was confused, odor? 

 "You know some of that stuff you put under your arms, odor."

Ah, DEodorant!  Got it!  

Lincoln was watching TV and came to me and said "That Walking Dead commercial really freaks me out!"  

Lincoln and I were watching the Today show and the Smucker's birthday section was on.  He blatantly said, "Everyone on this show is 100 years old!"  Ha!  I guess I take for granted that yes, they are all 100, that's why they are on there!

We were on a bike ride near the ponds when we got off to look at a cowbird.  Lincoln quickly told me to "Put a bubble in my mouth!"  I hadn't heard that one before but he demonstrated it for me.  Thanks preschool!  He has another one that covers all the bases.  It's "lips and hips"  You put one finger over your closed lips.  The other hand goes on your hip.  Sassy AND keeps them in line.  I like it!  

Jackson's school had a "dash and bash" fundraiser and we went out to support Jackson's run!  We even made him a sign for Lincoln to hold!  Great job Lincoln!

I walked out into the driveway and found THIS one day.  Neither boy has had much jealousy because they love their little sister so much.  I think Lincoln is finding all this new baby gear pretty interesting and he just had to try out a few things for himself.  Sadly, albeit a little long, he still fits into the bumbo seat!  

 Lincoln's preschool had a donuts with dad day.  They all wrote down things about their fathers.  Lincoln's was pretty tame compared to a few I saw.  One child in particular said:   I love my dad because  "He's bald and he doesn't have any hair."  Jason got out easy on that one.  Lincoln's been trained at what to say!  I loved: My dad's job is "going to work!"  Who cares what his job is, he just knows he's gone over half the day.

There's one more but it honestly deserves a blog all its own.  Coming soon.

Easy Breezy Beautiful Baby Girl

This is my easy, breezy beautiful baby girl!  She's six weeks old now and I sometimes STILL don't believe I have a baby girl.  I mean, she makes her presence known but I look down sometimes and marvel that she is MINE, like forever!

These are her newborns.  Done in 4 shoots over a week.  I'm so thankful for my mom and her mad photography skills.  Even with the 2 of us, we struggled to get the shots we did.  Photographing newborns is HARD and we had all the time in the world because we were doing it at home.  We may or may not have had the heat up on 80 at times.  And a heating pad.  And a heater.  She officially wet or soiled every single prop we put on her at least once.  I was doing acrobatics that made me thankful that I didn't have a c-section and that my wicked fast birth left me feeling quite agile.

(This one was her "Downton Abbey" headband.  I like to call her Lady Lillian!)

How on earth do you choose a favorite of these?  They are all my favorite.  She's my favorite!  I spend large parts of every single day sitting and holding her.  She's my baby girl and she's also my last.  I don't get much done and it's perfectly fine with me.  I don't even mind getting up 3 times a night with her.  This too shall pass and I know one day I'll miss it.  After going through the ringer with crybaby Lincoln, I had a deal with Lillian that I would nurse on command, as long as she was a good baby.  No schedule, no problem.  We were going to be stress free.  I honestly don't even look at the clock much.  She has been known to take advantage of it insisting on eating every 2ish hours for the first 4 weeks but she's decided she'll stretch it out a few times a day now.  Especially at night when she can stretch 4 hours now which is a blessing!
When I'm not sitting and rocking her, you can usually find her attached to me.  I've broken in all of her carriers really well.  She loves being close and held.  Luckily for her, it's my favorite thing to do!  Sadly for anyone looking to read blogs, I'm no good at typing one handed so these blogs are accumulating in my head and there's not enough room for them there!  She's also learned what an on-the-go life we live. She's a regular at the ballfield, boot camp is on our T-TH schedule and all the girls in my Wednesday bible study adore her.  She's even walked in the Relay for Life this year!  The days we do stay home we spend them playing dress up and matching bows to outfits.
She thinks the ceiling fans are the coolest things on earth.  She can look at them for quite a while.  At around 4 weeks, I started putting her on her stomach at naps.  And she loved it.  So she's a stomach sleeper.  Just like her brothers were.
Her brothers like her alot.  They are a big help too.  They are champs at replacing that paci when she spits it out.  They also like the spectacle of her.  Anytime their friends are around they want to kiss baby sister on her head.
Lucy is even a fan of her.  She's gotten protective of her and stands guard when she's crying until I come and get her.

She is everything I ever dreamed of and having a girl is probably MORE fun that I imagined it.  She's so easy that she'd make anyone think of having another one.  She cries for ONE reason.  Only when she's hungry but let it be known that NOTHING will stop her from crying when she is hungry.  Its a good thing we aren't trying to put this girl on a schedule because that might cue the drama I've been promised in the future.

All in all, she is PERFECT and I couldn't love her more!

Bow Training in Progress

You've heard of potty training, sleep training, and crate training.  Oh, wait, that's for dogs but come to think of it...it could work too.  We are currently in the throes of bow training.  Yes, it's a real thing.  I am training my 5 week old daughter that wearing a bow is NOT just an accessory but a way of life.  It's like wearing underwear in our house.  You don't leave home without it and it's not suggested to walk around the house without it either.  Every good southern girl knows a thing or two about hairbows.  Big ones, small ones, flower ones there just needs to be a bow in your hair. It's like having sweet tea.  If you go somewhere that doesn't have it, you look at the place questionably.   I like to think I'm bringing up a proper southern young lady and on top of her "yes, ma'ams" and "bless your hearts", I'll be ensuring her place in the properly accessorized category by ensuring there is always a perfectly coordinated bow in her hair.  

The idea behind the "bow training" theory is that if she's always worn a bow on her head then when she reaches the "pull it out" stage she will know it's a fixture and it won't be so enticing.  Then when she does decide to check it out, I can give her a firm "no, ma'am" and tell her to leave it in.  Probably 100 times or more but consistency is key here and I'll do my duty to complete the task.  

Even now, it's not always a complete success. We have to take it one day at time.  We have days where the bows are too big and fall down in her eyes.  Sometimes they are too small and squeeze a little too tightly on her head.  Then there are days when she throws a fit and the bows wind up covering her eyes completely.  Then it becomes more of a de facto sleep mask.  She isn't impressed.  One day, she'll thank me.  Or maybe not but I'll never have to look back and wish I had put a bow in her hair.  Now, there will most likely be times I wish I HADN'T put a bow in her hair as times will change and we all look back at our 80's big hair, bowl cuts and perms and wonder WHY?!?  But it's a chance I'm willing to take for the sake of proper and (adorable) current accessory trends.  

Besides, if you have any idea how long I have waited for a girl, you'll understand.  There were times I would threaten Lincoln to put bows in his hair but he always thwarted my efforts.  I've waited my WHOLE LIFE to put dresses and bows on someone.  So FINALLY, my ship (or BOW as it were) has come in!