He's a Maniac!

A pyro-maniac.

Lincoln is easily one of the most self entertained kids I know.  I have to regularly ask him "Lincoln, what are you doing?" because he'll be off on his own for long enough that I need to worry about him.  Sometimes, he's messing in the water or dabbling in paints that he knows he'd need my permission for but usually he's playing something (not toys) that is perfectly fine.  He's just easy like that.  He doesn't need my constant attention and it's a good thing too.  So last week, I have a baby in my lap asleep, a computer in front of me doing some work and I'm on the phone negotiating my cell phone contract.  Lincoln goes outside.  I assume he's chasing butterflies, watering his bean sprouts or jumping on the trampoline.  He stayed out there for quite some time.  I finished the call and finally laid the baby down in her crib and I walked outside to show some attention to Lincoln.  He deserved it for allowing me to finish my business without interruption.  I walk outside  trying to squash some mommy guilt and call for him.  He pops up from behind the charcoal grill located near the back of the house.  I ask him, "What were you doing?".  It was that mom-tuition that told me the way he "popped" up that it was something he knew better than to do. 

 He slyly says, "Well, I was um, doing nothing." 

 Mmmmhmmm.  

And I'm a monkey's uncle. 

 He hasn't learned the art of deception yet and his actions were a dead give away.  It helped that I had already spotted the paraphernalia.  

I told him sternly, "I'm going to ask you again.  What were you doing?"

He huffed and puffed, knowing he'd been found out.  He rolled his eyes and said, "I JUST wanted to burn something!" Lincoln had collected all the lighters from our gas grill and taken them behind the house.  He'd also placed a stick in the ground in preparation for his little fiasco.   As he looked up at me I realized he had already burned something.  He'd singed his hair in the front just a tiny bit.  I wasn't just angry, I was terrified!  I didn't know how to show him this was a most serious offence.  We spent the next bit of quality time discussing how dangerous it was to play with fire.  We went into great detail of what could happen and how quickly it could get out of control then I took it a step further.  Google and I showed Lincoln what could happen to kids that play with fire and get burned.  I don't think he will forget those images anytime soon.  Neither will I unfortunately.  There was specifically a baby that got burned on there and he asked how a baby could play with fire.  I was sure to tell him, it wasn't the baby.  It was probably her brother!    Over the top?  Maybe.  But we can all rest assured that Lincoln won't be playing with fire ever again.

Later that same week, another eerily quite moment led to me asking, "Linc, what are you doing?"  As he slid his hand behind his back I held my hand out and asked for what he was hiding.  He handed me a safety pin.  I asked him what he was doing with this pin and he said, "I JUST wanted to stick a needle in me."  Oy!  Who is this kid and why is he self harming?  After a few more moments of questioning it was clear that he'd seen Jackson stick a needle into the top layer of skin and it didn't even hurt. Lincoln was trying to replicate that party trick.  He just didn't realize that there was more to it than just poking a needle in you.  We had a discussion on how needles can hurt you and cause you to have to go to the hospital too.  I wasn't prepared to have this conversation quite so early, or ever for that matter!  

 I'm sure I could come up with more things recently that Lincoln's done to crack me up and keep me on my toes but if I don't go to bed with haste I won't be on my A game when it comes to stomping out fires and keeping Lincoln safe.  It's a tough job.  Lucky for him, it's one I deeply love!