Protection and Forgivness

First, a confession from a weary mom of 2 who is in desperate need of the presence of the husband and father of these 2 young boys. On Wednesday morning before Bible study (Oh, why does it always have to come out before church?), we were rushing to get out the door. The reason we are always rushing is beyond me. I go so far as to lay out everyone's clothes, make the coffee, lay out our breakfast and load the car with the necessary things. After everyone is dressed, I ask Jackson to get his shoes on, which he is normally capable of doing alone. I'm used to repeating myself several times so I sang that song oh, about 20 times before I had to raise my voice. Sadly, I admit, it goes downhill from there. While holding the crying baby and an armload of stuff, Jackson proclaims he can't find his shoes...the ones I LAID OUT! I leave him with the threat of finding them and load the baby and the necessary cup of joe in the car. I come back in to find Jackson daydreaming and NOT engaging in that shoe hunt I left him on. So, I'm past raising my voice which sounds so polite. Now, I'm yelling. I'm yelling at a 3 year old because he can't find his shoes and he's going to make us late for my Bible Study. I certainly cant' claim perfect, maybe I can claim to wear matching earrings MOST of the time but perfect parenting is usually a fasad. We were able to locate the missing shoes and arrive 5 (unimportant) minutes late to Bible study today. In the midst of Bible Study on "Esther, it's tough being a woman" I start to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for the shoe finding episode at home and I know just what I need to do. I go to the preschool class and call Jackson (who is of despite our altercation, happy to see me). I told him that I wanted to say I was sorry for yelling about his shoes and that it was wrong for me to handle it that way. I asked him if he would forgive me? That is a new tactic we've been working on. I'm sorry is no longer the end all, it must be followed by "Will you forgive me?". I like the principal it teaches and it was quite humbling to say it myself. We followed Bible study with a trip to the Mexican Place as Jackson calls it. I hope we both learned a little lesson here, 1) know where your shoes are and 2) mommies make mistakes and also have to ask for forgiveness.


I think this photo says a lot about how Jackson has stepped up to the plate in home protection with his Daddy gone. Nobody and I mean NOBODY is going to be stealing our silverware or our dishtowels. I took the gun down and handed it to him to put away and he said, "No, leave it there, that's my gun rack."