Is this what 4cm looks like?

On tuesday of last week, I went into the Doctor expecting to get a grim reminder that it's not quite time for the baby yet. As I read the expression on his face, I still thought that. Then he announced that I was 4cm dialated and 75% effaced. As I see it, that's nearly halfway to having a baby! I was very excited AND began to panic into nesting mode just a little. No mom wants to come home with things less than perfect for her little one. I had already been walking with Daddy mornings and late evenings but this really put that walking into action. We walked 3 or more miles EVERY day. We walked the 3 mile TVA trail, we walked a large route in Sheffield and we walked the neighborhood street by street. We also cleaned my car. I know my car hasn't been this clean since Jackson was born! I bought all the necessary cosmetices for baby on a few target runs.
I also did all the necessary mommy things. I know one can only look so good when you're 28lbs overweight but what kind of girl would I be if I didn't at least put some effort into it. Those who know me KNOW I'm going to try. I got my nails done and even got a spray tan. I quickly fell in love with the results of the spray tan as it was quick, easy and healthy for a pregnant girl. I also picked up a dress that will support breastfeeding AND show off my "transition" figure.
Jason is still living in sub-par conditions but is working on getting internet for the day of delivery. He's on stanby for me to contact him, just in case something happens anytime of day.
Jackson spent the weeks end with the deFoors for Jason's little sisters graduation in Birmingham. I was told that it was best I stay closeby the doctor. His world is made up of fun, fun and more fun as always.
We made these pics last tuesday after the doctors appt. I was attempting the suductive urban look with a splash of color. I loved the urban garage place I ran across during one of our walks.

Making the "switch"

"Just another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody, I got some money cause we just got paid....how I wish I had someone to talk to" I begin my blog with this because after using this catchy cliche several times today, it is now STUCK in my head repeatedly.
This week has been relatively slow and uneventful. Rain has taken up several of our days into being secluded to the house. I'm not complaining much though. It's about all I can do to make one trip 10 mins down the road for swimming lessons and I'm exhausted again. I'm telling you, an extra 28lbs can really weigh a girl down. Jackson's 2 week swimming lessons are now over. He was a wild man in the pool, mostly splashing and keeping his head and ears underwater so as not to hear the directions given by the teacher. I think his expressions kept them laughing though. He is certainly animated while trying hard to be still enough to float.
My doctors appointment this week revealed that we will try to have the baby on either the 27th or 28th of May assuming I keep progressing. I'll be seen every week from now until then. I was happy to at least have a "date" in mind to let Jason know and was also happy that his (the Doc) date was about the same as the ones I had in mind.
Jason's living situation apparently hasn't changed much and other than that, I know little about what he's doing or his daily tasks. He can only check email about every 3 days so communication is still "rustic" as he put it nicely. I can only hope that this gets better. I've jokingly ( but with serious undertones) stated that it seems like the only things we have in common right now are that we share the same bank account and children. And I'm managing both of those things at the present time!

So in an attempt to get serious with Jackson for pulling the backtalk of "I"m just gonna..." or "no, I'm doing ______ first" when I ask him to do something, I have decided to make the switch. That is introduce the switch. I no longer feel my hand or my threats have much bearing on him and I am hoping that this friendly character will really make him understand that I am the parent and he must obey me. (they are learning that in Sunday school) Well, I explained to him that I would now be using this tool to help him learn that he must obey me and I would not be giving continued threats, there would be one chance and then he'd meet his fate. Oh how quickly a 3 year old forgets. I asked him to come and let me put his shoes on when he replied "I'm just gonna put this money in the piggy bank" so I got up and got the switch and there they had their first encounter. Well, his response wasn't at all what was expected or desired as he yelled at me to "STOP doing that" which lead to yet another stronger encounter with our new discipline tool. I think he understood this time but I clarified that this was our new method of "learning to obey." After our talk, he had many more questions about this new friend. He seemed both cautious and interested in it. Knowing he doesn't forget anything, he won't soon be forgetting about this incident and I feel certain that it will be effective. Today I was reading on the porch when he brought the switch outside to me. I asked him what he was doing with it and he said "I'm going to break it up and throw it off the porch." Oh, Jackson...just as there are plenty of fish in the sea, there are also plenty of sticks on that tree!
Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3
Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them
are diligent to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

Top 10 things I LOVE about being a Mother

10. No need for alarm clocks anymore. Kids make the perfect replacement. They are sure to
NEVER ever let you sleep in, even when you can. Every morning since we've been in AL, he's found a reason to come into my room and make sure I'm awake.

9. Uncomfortable in a situation? Need to get off an annoying call? KIDS are the best reason to have to run...and if it gets serious, kids can always provide you with a crisis. Beware, sometimes this crisis can be real!

8. Admit it, you think that toy on the infomercial looks pretty cool and lucky for you, there's a holiday or a bribery issue coming up really soon! So go ahead, get out your credit card and order that toy "for the Kids!"

7. Kids are like playing paper dolls, you get to dress them however you want to reflect your own style...at least until they form an opinion (which begins around age 2!)

6. Kids make the perfect excuses to go to all the places you secretly want to go yourself...the Zoo, DISNEY!, Great Wolf Lodge, amusement parks, etc... AND you get to see their enjoyment while you fulfill your desire.

5. Self-esteem issues? Kids can be brutally honest, but also amazingly complementary, even in the times you least expect it. There's nothing like waking up to a 3 year old saying, "Mom, you're pretty!" but also "Mom, you're belly is BIG!"

4. Your manners and your core values are reinforced while teaching them to kids. You must remember words NOT to say, remember your "thank yous" and your "yes, ma'ams" lest you be reminded and corrected by your 3 year old.

3. Google! It can be the most useful and loved tool by all mothers, you can look up "bug bites", what to do IF..., and the answers to all the questions asked by your 3 year old that you just don't know the answers to.

2. The distress call..."Mooooooooooooooommmmmmmm" It could be something serious, like needing a butt wiped or something with less significance like spilling milk on the carpet or a sibling rivalry gone bad. Either way, you won't very often hear, "Daaaaadddddddyyy" because these are jobs best suited for the one they call Mom!

1. To your child, you ARE like God. You can kiss a boo-boo and make it better. They can ask and food simply appears in front of them. Wet bed sheets and clothes are amazingly clean and dry. Dirty diapers are clean and noses are wiped right before their eyes. And your reward lovingly comes as hugs and kisses which to a mother are worth more than gold!

Bring on the Rain

I guess we arrived in Alabama just in time for the "rainy season." It has rained a significant amount since we got here 2 weeks ago. It rains so hard at night, it's awakened me a few times. The parks are muddy and the river is overflowing. The spill waves are fully open and that is a sight to see! On Sunday, I was beginning to feel sorry for myself because I think I left my "good" umbrella in Jason's truck in NC and I only have my dollar store one here. I have to "waddle" to the car more quickly than normal to keep from getting my pants legs wet. I'm in church for 2 minutes when Jason calls. I'm always glad to hear from him and he seems to be in fairly good spirits. He asked if I wanted to know about his latest drama and of course, I like to know anything about what my husband is doing for the next year of his life. He says that they had a bad thunderstorm on his base last night and that their 100 man festival tent had flooded and had about 1/4 inch standing water in it. So much for feeling sorry for myself about a little rain! WOW! So you already have to sleep in a big tent with 100 other smelly guys and now all your stuff on the floor is wet and you have to stand on your bed to change clothes. Now I begin to count my blessings! He was actually laughing about it. I asked him what you do about a flooded tent and he says "you sleep in it!" Then I asked him if that wouldn't cause mosquito's to invade and he said "that's why we're taking malaria pills." I guess you might as well laugh about it. And again I'm reminded, I'm just not that Tough!

These pictures are of Wilson Dam, with the spill waves fully open to allow for all the rainwater to pass through. Wilson Dam is part of TVA (Tennessee Valley Authority) the hydro-electric energy producer here in the Tennessee Valley. I read in the paper that over one million gallons of water is passing through them each second! These were taken by a friend and were too awesome not to share. (thanks, Joy)

Mama Mia!

On Monday I hit the 35 week mark in this pregnancy! The baby is done developing for the most part and now just puts on weight. We ALL know what that means for BIG mama! I can feel the belly getting bigger and the clothes that are SUPPOSED to be for maternity fitting a little tighter these days. I can also feel it when I want to roll over in bed at night. Sometimes, I wake up, contemplate moving and decide it's not worth the effort before going back to sleep. Otherwise, I have had more energy and felt better this week than I did even last week. That is good for me but bad for the hope of the baby being "ready" to come out anytime soon. I guess it does help that I have gone from being a single parent to having 3 adults to share 3 year old care with! I do most of the cooking and planning of the meals around here but other than that, my responsibilities are small and somewhat selfish (scrapbooking, shopping, etc!)

My mom is our official photographer. She does it a little on the side and A LOT for us! It comes in really handy especially with the baby's arrival and lucky me, she's really good at it! You will be seeing more and more of her work in the near future with Lincoln's arrival. These are some of the maternity pics that she took on Monday at a nearby park. If you only knew the amount of bribery and threatening it took to get these pictures, you'd know how much to appreciate that sweet face of his!

Why is the sky blue? and other toddler questions.

Jackson has always been quite a talkative toddler. He's never met a stranger and doesn't mind striking up a conversation with any passerby. His questions sometimes seem never ending! Although I've been impressed at times with how intellectual they really are. He doesn't just ask the normal WHY? WHEN? HOW? kinds of questions. He usually puts thought into it.
After Christmas, we were traveling somewhere and he asked us "Why don't you use the ABCS (translate GPS)? We had just gotten it and he was remembering what it was and what it did. Anytime you ask Jackson, "How are you doing?", he'll reply not just good but "I'm doing good!"
Today at Wal-mart, I spent a relatively long time browsing the cosmetics while dodging his questions and answering a few along the way. He was running out of things to ask and started looking around the store. He got my attention with this one, he asked, "Mom, why are the ceilings so high in Wal-mart?" Hmmm...Jackson I've never actually wondered that one so I had to admit I had NO idea. I'm thinking I should teach him how to Google. They always have the answers to my questions!

Life in the slow lane

Everyone knows that in Alabama, they talk slower, they walk slower and generally things pass by more slowly. I can attest that I am experiencing "life in the slow lane". It's not a bad thing. Yes my speech, along with Jackson's, upon returning to NC will have become slower and things will be pronounced with more of a drawl ("dawg" and "ink pin" and "coke"). I'm just noticing that life has slowed down for me here. . I have full time "child care" for Jackson in my parents and other relatives. It's wonderful to have that kind of mommy break and be able to stay on the computer for hours on end! I even waited in the doctors office for 2 and 1/2 hours today just to meet the delivery doctor and have him say "come back in 2 weeks". I'm also grateful be living in the kind of small town that you can be anywhere in less than 10 minutes. I'm talking about the mall, Wal-mart or the doctors office. You can leave the house and have 10 minutes to spare! My decisions have met the simple life as well. I've gone from deciding who'll babysit or if the function is babysitter "worthy" to deciding what time I want to get my nails done or what sonic drink I want for happy hour. This kind of slowdown is unusual for me. I'm a go- go girl and I have gotten used to the fast paced life that we lived in NC. There it takes 30 minutes to get ANYWHERE and that's not counting traffic or post delays. I'm still walking as much as possible and its funny that even that has slowed down. Obviously, that has little to do with Alabama (other than the heat) and more to do with my continually growing belly at 34 weeks and counting. On Saturday, my sis, mom, Jackson and I participated in a 1 mile fun run. We definitely weren't in it for the race, just the atmosphere, but I'm happy to announce that we finished the race (1 mile) in a mere 18 minutes and get this...we weren't last! We were, however, next to last! I know that in a matter of 4 weeks or so, "this too shall pass". So for now, I'll relish in the slow lane of life.

Jason is 9 and 1/2 hours away from me right now. He too is experiencing a slower pace. He is busy with classes and briefings but his communication for news and online access has come to a complete hault. Luckily, I'm hearing from him regularly and his daily phone calls often come with a request to check out his stocks ( one of his online passions). I know the "rolltide.com" website misses his lurking and occasional comment but again, "this too shall pass" and he'll be back in the bama know again.

On a side note: as Jackson is adjusting to the 1 hour time difference, he's been waking at 530 to 6am here. He's a happy guy in the morning, usually walking in and announcing LOUDLY, "It's a pretty day!" before he's even looked outside or asking "Did I pee-pee in my pull-up?" and awaiting my approval. This morning, he walked in my room and got in my face and said "I heard the coffee...it's ready...don't you want some?" Yes, at 6:09 ,as a matter of fact I do!
Thank God for naps while in this "slow lane" of life!

Fish out of water

The 12 hour drive from NC to AL was about as exciting as any drive with a dog, a cat, a 3 year old and 4 fish could possibly be. Daddy drove my car pulling a u-haul with all the essential baby gear in it. It's amazing that an 8lb baby could ever need so much stuff! The stops were not as many as we had anticipated but even so, it was LONG and boring. Somehow the scenery never seems to change on that road. We did have the honor of passing the Taladega Super Speed Way on race weekend and had a great roadside view of the worlds most redneck campground. We actually saw a pick-up truck with a tarp covering the bed and extending out to form a makeshift tent. I guess that's taking the "bed" of the truck literally! We saw flags of every color (mostly U of A and TN, of course), tents, campers and always a converted school bus or two! It is truly a sight to behold. I have actually been once. It was my first and last race at the same time. I quickly learned, racing is NOT the sport for me. Anyway, we arrived home around 9pm and had to unload the u-haul of baby gear, clothes and check on the fate of the 4 fish Jackson insisted on bringing with us. They were carefully placed in a pitcher with a top on it for the ride. As Daddy rose the door slowly, water started leaking out of the u-haul. This was not a good sign for the fishes. As he continued to raise the door, the pitcher they were in turned completely upside down and dumped the little remaining water and 4 fish onto the concrete driveway. Things were not looking good for Doggie, Penny, Bug and Hummer. They were in fact still ALIVE! Though their water had been significantly reduced during travel and then ultimately made their AL entrance with a pretty hard landing we picked them up and rushed them inside to greet mom with a "fish emergency". Luckily she'd brought home a tank and set it up so that they could be rescued. I'm happy to report, that all the fish are happy and healthy in their new AL tank. They've even been upgraded to a 10 gallon tank for the summer at least. We're contemplating what to do about the return trip. How many lives does a fish have anyway?

As an update on Jason, speaking of fish out of water...His unit has arrived at their base but have found it to be a little less than accomadating. Yes, it is a war zone but living conditions in his words are "either crap or non exsistent". I know they will get better as his unit builds up the base there but for now they are sleeping in 3 areas of 100 man tents and have virtually NO internet access. On a better note, he does have an international cell phone using calling cards that he can call me on fairly often. The calls of course are priceless but to keep us out of certain financial ruin, we'll have to space the calls appropriately. The weather there is more humid than his last deployment and temps are in the 80-90's. He is making plans to take the GRE which is offered there in June. Hopefully after this fun filled year, Grad school will be our next stop on this roller coaster we call Army life.

It's not in her head!

This is a story from a few weeks ago but it's worth writing about, if for nothing else, to help me remember it.
Roxy is our 6 year old Lhasa Apso. She's my first baby and everyone knows she means the world to me. She's always been like a child and that hasn't changed. We're talking a total girlie fu-fu dog. She goes to the groomer every 2 weeks, religiously, sleeps in my bed and walks around with mostly pink bows in her hair.
So, after a recent trip to Washington, D.C. on which Roxy accompanied us (and used a public doggy potty area) she had a few "accidents" in the house. She's always been house broken and has NEVER had an accident so it seemed strange that she would and she would even go so far as to do it right in front of us.
I was convinced that something was wrong and made her an appointment to the vet right away. A few days later at the appointment, I went over her signs and symptoms and they ran a test. The vet came back into our room and simply explained that with all the new "baby stuff" I had been getting out that Roxy was showing signs of stress and acting out in response. She told me it was "all in her head!"
I was appalled that was all I got for my 50 bucks spent on the vet's "expert" advice. In the car on the way home I was gabbing on the phone to someone about the diagnosis I had received saying "the vet claims her pooping issue is all in her head" and Jackson interrupts me saying politely, " Mom, the poop is not in Roxy's head, Mom, it's in her BUTT!" Ah, the infinite wisdom of a 3 year old!
It turns out, $120, a few minutes of Internet research and earning my amateur vet degree, I returned to the vet, requested the medicine I had researched and Roxy was amazingly FINE in one day! So I guess, if you really think about it, it wasn't "all in her head" after all!

The Courage

So, my first attempt at a blog and unfortunately, it comes on a VERY sad day in the deFoor house. After this, I will try my best to include only the funniest and most significant details of our "la vida loco".

Today began a journey he didn't request to take. Today began a mission he intends to carry out. Today began a separation he will endure with courage.

He had the courage to accept his commision knowing it would lead him into war.

He had the courage to return a 3rd time into what is known as a war zone.

He had the courage to leave a 3 year old with an unnatural understanding of the danger there.

He had the courage to leave his wife right before she gives birth to their second child.

He had the courage to walk away... and look back to leave us with a smile!

Today around 730pm, we left Jason bound for a plane into Afganistan sometime in the next few days. It's been hard for me to even accept this deployment so closely on the heels of the last one. I know that I will have all the support I need and I'm grateful to have such loving friends and family. I just can't help putting myself in his shoes and think of all the things he's sacrificing in the name of freedom. For that alone, our troops are American Heros!

Before you really begin to feel sorry for him, you must be informed. This poor child isn't crying because we had to leave his daddy. Oh no, he's crying because his bubble gum fell out of his mouth and we wouldn't let him pick it up and chew it again...Oh, the despair!